Real Men Write~ Jesse Cole

Real Men Write Feature~ Jesse Cole

As one of the nation’s leading Youth Leadership Speakers, Entrepreneurs and Talk Show Host, Jesse A. Cole, Jr. is Founder of 1,000 KINGS Leadership Academy™, a leadership initiative to help young men find their leadership identity and enhance their personal development.

He is the author of Walk Like A King: The Young  Man’s Guide To Conquering The World (MYG 2012) and the Leadership Legacy Series (MYG 2013). His work as an author, mentor, and generation-leader has afforded him the opportunity to receive multiple honors such as the Douthat Collegiate Leadership Award and the Magic Johnson “What Inspires You” Finalist Award.

Jesse’s goal is to provide young people with principles that they can build on. His motto is K.I.N.G: Keep Investing in the Next Generation.

In Leadership,

Jesse A. Cole, Jr.
CEO, 1,000 KINGS
P.O. Box 442
Hazel Park, MI 48030
www.OneThousandKings.com
www.WalkLikeAKing.com
www.JesseSpeaks.com
Info@OneThousandKings.com
(248) 217-7620

Michigan Literary Network Blog talk Radio~ May 22, 2013

Don’t miss Monica Marie Jones today on the Michigan Literary Network Blog Talk Radio show. Sylvia Hubbard will talk with Monica for the entire thirty minutes about her new book Momentum.

Who is Monica?

Monica Marie Jones is an author whose published works include The Ups and Downs of Being Round (Fiction/Self-Help), Taste My Soul (Poetry), FLOSS (Fiction), Swag (Urban Fiction), Sweet Soliloquy (Poetry) and Monday Morning Motivation (Inspiration). She is a contributing author in Chicken Soup for the Girls Soul, New Directions for Youth Development, 44th (A full color coffee table book about President Barack Obama) and Souls of Our Young Sisters: The Next Generation of Women Tell Their Stories, Overcome Their Challenges, and Heal Their Spirits. She has also contributed to several publications and youth development training materials for the High/Scope Educational Research Foundation and the David P. Weikart Center for Youth Program Quality.

She has worked as a columnist and freelance writer for various publications and websites including the Michigan Front Page Newspaper and is an active member of the Motown Writer’s Network where she hosted  her own radio show, “Marketing and Motivation Mondays with Monica Marie Jones” on the Michigan Literary Network Radio.

 

Monica received her Bachelor’s Degree and teaching certificate in Elementary Education from Eastern Michigan University. She also received her Masters of Social Work from the University of Michigan.

 

Monica is a youth development expert that does training and consultation for the David P. Weikart Center for Youth Program Quality.

 

She is a professionally trained dancer and dance instructor that has danced with Gospel recording artists such as Dorinda Clark-Cole, in several venues around the United States, and a three-city tour in Japan with Kierra ‘Ki-Ki’ Sheard.

Monica uses her gifts, talents and expertise to inform her work as a motivational speaker with a focus on topics including but not limited to self-esteem, empowering women and girls, fitness and wellness, and youth development.

She is the owner of the publishing and literary consulting company, The Literary Loft; the motivational speaking, training and consulting company, Inspirationista Ink; and a partner in ownership of the real estate investment company, Team JP Enterprises LLC.

For more information visit her website at http://www.monicamariejones.com

Watch Monica’s Momentum Interview with Kai Mann

Real Men Write Feature~ Eddie Connor

Empowering people to overcome obstacles and walk in their unique purpose is the real life message shared by Eddie Connor, who is a 15-year cancer survivor.

Eddie is a resident of Detroit, Michigan but grew up in Kingston, Jamaica.

As a product of a divorced family, Eddie realizes that he was not born with a “silver spoon” but discovered strength in the midst of struggle.

As an Author, Evangelist, Motivational Speaker, Poet, Political Advisor, Teacher, and TV Correspondent on CBS/CW 50, Eddie Connor shares his story of overcoming cancer in his three books: Purposefully Prepared to Persevere, Collections of Reflections: Symphonies of Strength – Volumes 1-3, and E.CON the ICON: from Pop Culture to President Barack Obama (www.eddieconnor.com).

Eddie Connor is a graduate of Eastern Michigan University, having earned a Bachelor of Science in Secondary Education, with a focus in History. He has also earned a Master of Arts Degree in Education from Marygrove College, as a Reading and Literacy Specialist.

He has garnered prestigious honors for his community activism and role model leadership, such as the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Humanitarian Award, Eastern Michigan University President For a Day, the Black Male Engagement Leadership Award, and named one of the top 100 leaders in “Who’s Who in Black Detroit.”

Over the years, Eddie has encouraged youth to overcome life’s obstacles on his radio program, “Youth On The March” being broadcast throughout the United States and Caribbean, to more than 25 million people.

Eddie desires to educate and empower the next generation.  He has launched a literacy initiative “Boys 2 Books” which is designed to combat the school-to-prison pipeline, by empowering young males via life skills and literacy. The program has been endorsed by the United States Congress.

From Cancer to Conqueror to more than Conqueror, God has truly given Eddie Connor a voice to reach individuals of all ages and backgrounds with a message that you can overcome any obstacle.

Stephen King On Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey,…

Michigan Literary Network Blogtalk radio~May 8, 2013

Listen in today at 5:30pm as Sylvia Hubbard  interviews our first guest Ken Coleman, a Detroit native and a seasoned communications, media and public policy consultant. He is also the author of the new book On This Day: African-American Life in Detroit.

Ken Coleman’s past employment experiences include serving as a legislative assistant to former Detroit City Councilwoman Brenda M. Scott as well as State Senators Irma Clark-Coleman and Buzz Thomas. He has also worked as press secretary to U.S. House member Gary C. Peters and as a reporter at the Michigan Chronicle and Michigan FrontPage. In 2009, Ken was elected by local voters to serve on the Detroit Charter Revision Commission, where he helped to lead the way in drafting a new governing document for City of Detroit.

With passion and dedication, Ken serves as a volunteer mentor and an advisory board member with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Metropolitan Detroit. He chairs a special task force that is dedicated to increasing the number of black men who mentor African-American boys. Ken is completing a bachelor’s degree in communications from Wayne State University. He is married to Kim Trent. They have a four-year old son, Jackson.

Learn more about Ken’s new book at http://www.onthisdaydetroit.com/

Later, at 5:45pm;  Sylvia Hubbard will be interviewing Erica Coleman who is a new author. Her debut book is “Dying to be Loved.”

Erica Monique Coleman was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan. Coleman graduated from Wayne State University with a Bachelors degree in Journalism. Coleman’s creative talents as a writer, model, actor and spokesperson have enabled her to communicate and befriend large groups of men and women “who all have a story to tell.”  Writing has been her passion for many years, but her focus has mainly been on women’s’ life issues, as featured on her Blog, “Girl Let Me Tell You.”  She currently resides in Detroit, MI with her son whom she hopes will follow in her creative footsteps.  Dying To Be Loved is her first novel with hopes of many more to follow.

Check Erica out at www.ericacoleman.com

Writing Tutorials-#12 Show, Don’t Tell!

Michigan Literary Network Radio~Kris Yankee

Sylvia Hubbard is back in the hosts chair this Wed. May 1st at 5:30 p.m. on Michigan Literary Network Radio with her one and only guest Kris Yankee. Kris is the author of the YA book “Cracking the Code: Spreading Rumors.” Check her out in advance at http://www.krisyankee.com/, and follow her Twitter@KrisYankee. Check us out every Wed.  at bit.ly/Nh9eQg. We’re all things literary!

Michigan Literary Network Blogtalk Radio~March 20, 2013

 Today at 5:30pm on the Michigan Literary Network blogtalk radio you’re in for a treat as Sylvia Hubbard talks about the book Dying to Be Loved by Erica Coleman.  Dying To Be Loved is a book written to encourage, inspire, entertain but also deliver those looking for love in all the wrong places. For more information about Erica check her out at http://www.ericacoleman.com/

Michigan Literary Blogtalk Radio~March 6, 2013

Today at 5:30pm on the Michigan Literary Network Blogtalk radio show listen in as Sylvia Hubbard  interviews Amber Housey. Amber is the author of the Best Selling children’s book Just Because. Listen in as she talks about her children’s book at Flip Side Stories. You can also check out Amber at http://www.amberhousey.com/.

Stay tuned in to the Michigan Literary Network station because Sylvia will also interview the  coordinator of Dreamfest Leslie Love. Dreamfest is a showcase of local independent local films at Marygrove.

Michigan Literary Network Blogtalk Radio~February 20, 2013

Today at 5:30pm on the Michigan Literary Network Blogtalk radio show Sylvia Hubbard will be interviewing Kris Yankee. Who is Kris Yankee you ask? Kris is a children’s author who wrote Cracking the Code: Spreading Rumors. Listen in as she talks about her new book. You can also check out Kris Yankee at  adventuresthatscore.blogspot.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t miss the Michigan Literary Network’s interview with “Coach” Keller Coleman the author of The Power of Positive Thinking as he talks with Sylvia Hubbard at 5:45pm.

Join Nat’l, Maxine Bigby Cunningham in Ann Arbor & Yspilanti Feb 9th & 10th on A Journey to Wholeness #mwn #michlit

Featured Book:

Power Walking, A Journey to Wholeness

 

 

1.  Saturday, February 9, 2013 - Book Signing, Power Walking, A Journey to Wholeness, by Maxine Bigby Cunningham.  My memoir  of recovery, resilience and renewal while living with a chronic illness,  reveals four empowering steps to wellness that can benefit anyone who has yearned to triumph over impediments to wellness –  mind, body and spirit.   ”Power Walking” is a metaphor for vibrant living. This book has been described as instructional, illustrative and inspiring.  The signing will be held is 3:00 – 5:00 p.m. at Nicolas Books, 2513 Jackson Avenue, Westgate Shopping Center, Ann Arbor, MI 48103. Light refreshments. Flier and pix of book cover attached.  My website is http://www.maxinebigbycunningham.com.  Also, I can be reached on Facebook. 

2.  Sunday, February 10, 2013 - Annual Ypsilanti Community African American Read-in (AARI). This year’s theme is “Readers are Heroes.” The AARI celebrates the writings of African American writers.  The AARI is an international movement originated by the Black Caucus of the National Council of English Teachers.  At the “Ypsi” event, 2:00 – 4:00 p.m., expect engaging activities for  ”arm babies” through wise elders. Plus, children 18 and younger can select free books. This event will be held at the Ypsilanti District Library, 5577 Whittaker Road, Ypsilanti, MI 48198.  Free.  Light refreshments.  The website is  http://africanamericanread-2013.weebly.com

Follow me on twitter @maxine_empower

Power Walking, a Journey to Wholeness now in print and digital formats.

Book available at Amazon.com (print or Kindle) and at smashwords.com

 

 

“Walking is both a daily experience and a lifetime journey.”

                

Maxine Bigby Cunningham
Founder, Empowered Walking Enterprise LLC

Writer, Workshop Facilitator, Mental Health Advocate
Author - Power Walking, A Journey to Wholeness
www.maxinebigbycunningham.com
www.empoweredwalkingministries.blogspot.com
www.christianauthorsontour.com
www.createspace.com/1000215227

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004NSUYTW

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1419643916

http://www.smashwords.com/b/98541

 Follow Maxine:

 

Chocolate Pages Network

Christian Authors on Tour

 

 

First Chapter Friday with Author Angil Tarach-Ritchey

Behind the Old Face: Aging in America and the Coming Elder Boom

Please support this very important senior advocacy project The Elder Boom Foundation

Books by Angil Tarach-Ritchey

Behind the Old Face: Aging in America and the Coming Elder BoomSee a book preview http://www.dreamsculpt.com/behindtheoldface/

Quick Guide to Understanding Medicare, Medicaid and other payer sources 2011 http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-Medicare-Medicaid-sources-ebook/dp/B005UO7OTG

You Tube- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3XcOsmEx5s

Educational information and resources can be found on my blog “Aging in America”

 By Angil Tarach- Ritchey RN, GCM  

www.dreamsculpt.com/behindtheoldface/

_____________________________________________________________

Angil Tarach-Ritchey RN, GCM is an author, speaker, consultant and national expert in senior care.  With over 30 years experience in senior care and advocacy Angil is very passionate about eldercare and is well respected in her field.

Angil has written for several websites including NurseTogether, the Alzheimer’s Reading Room, Wellsphere, the National Senior Living Provider’s Network, Ann Arbor News, and her own blog, Aging in America.  Her passion and expertise have led to being published in the Chicago Sun Times, Maturity Matters, Medpedia, Vitamins Health, Medworm, Alzheimer’s New Zealand and several other publications.  She has been featured on Nurse Talk, WE Magazine for Women; Women on a Mission, Life Goes Strong, About.com/Assisted Living, The Caregiver Partnership, You and Me Health Magazine, His Is Mine, and Abec’s Small Business Review and quoted in several publications, such as Reuters, CNBC, Consumer Affairs, PTO Today, Women Entrepreneur and more.

Chapter 1

The Nursing Home Love Letters

My story in the nursing home

What would you title a defining moment in your life, the moment that

changed everything? My earliest defining moment came in a box of love

letters. No, not letters to me. It all happened with a box of love letters I

found in a nursing home.

My love for the elderly began when I started working as an aide in a nursing

home in 1977, when I was seventeen years old. My girlfriend’s mother,

Mrs. Berry, was a registered nurse and the nursing home administrator.

She was a tall, fairly thin woman with blonde hair. Although Mrs. Berry

was “cool” most of the time, it was apparent when she was angry or had

enough with teenagers in her home. She would make it clear she’d had

enough just by the look on her face. I liked Mrs. Berry and respected her,

but I also feared her. I never knew if she really liked me or not. Her daughter,

my friend Marcy, worked for her mom at the nursing home as a nurse’s

aide. She would tell us stories about the residents at her job, and most of

the stories were amusing. I needed a job, so I thought I could do what

Marcy was doing. I approached Mrs. Berry several times asking for a job.

I think she was passively ignoring me, but I was persistent . . . when Mrs.

Berry was in a good mood, that is. After a month or two of asking her

repeatedly to hire me and give me a chance, she finally agreed with the

comment, “I’ll give you a chance, but I don’t think you can do it.” What

Mrs. Berry didn’t know was that I am highly motivated by disbelief. I have

accomplished more in my lifetime because people told me I couldn’t do

something than because people told me I could.

It was a warm, humid day in June 1977, and I was about to begin my first

job as a nurse’s aide. When I arrived at the nursing home at 7:00 a.m.,

never having cared for an elderly person before, I assumed there would

be some sort of formal training. My training was to follow another aide

around, and basically do what she did. I wanted to follow Marcy, because

we were friends and her mom ran the place, but Mrs. Berry wouldn’t allow

that. I know she expected we would be goofing off or doing some kind

of foolishness if we worked together, so she had me follow a nurse’s aide I

had never met. I have to say, I was a little intimidated by the ninety or so

residents, some walking through the halls with canes and walkers, some

being wheeled down the hall in wheelchairs, and others yelling or talking

to themselves. But I had to prove to Mrs. Berry I could do it, so I just took

it minute by minute. There was no way I would confirm her notion that I

couldn’t do the work.

My first day seemed to be a test of my physical and emotional endurance.

I worked sixteen hours that day, and within a few hours on the job I

was involved in a medical emergency. We were passing lunch trays when

the whole room turned chaotic in response to a resident choking on her

lunch. The whole situation seemed to be happening in slow motion,

even though it only lasted a few short minutes. I realized the resident was

choking, because her table mates were yelling and I saw her gripping her

throat. Since it was my first day and I was not ready for a situation like

this, I looked around the room to make sure an employee knew what was

going on and would react. I had never expected to see something like this,

especially on my first day of work. As my eyes quickly scanned the room,

I saw my supervisor frozen in position, fear evident on her face. The experienced

nurse’s aides were either screaming for someone to do something

or trying to ignore the urgency of the situation.

Residents began yelling and getting out of their seats, waiting and watching

for someone to help her. It seemed everyone was waiting for someone

else to react, and no one was moving towards her. As seconds passed, her

face started turning blue. I just knew if no one helped her, she would die.

I had never received training for the Heimlich maneuver, or any other formal

training, but when she began turning blue and no one acted or seemed

to know what to do, I knew I had to do something. I could not watch this

woman die in front of me without doing something! I remembered seeing

the Heimlich maneuver done on TV and figured I had to try it. I ran to

the table and grabbed her now lifeless, thin body and pulled her against my

chest. I clenched my fists around her tiny waist and forcefully pulled her upper

abdomen toward me. I pulled once, twice, and finally the third time she

coughed out the food that was lodged in her throat. Her body then regained

life, and her blue skin began changing back to a light pink pigment. She was

going to be okay. I was flooded with emotions: disbelief, shock, fear, relief,

gratitude, anger, and pride. Of course, I was relieved and grateful, but I was

angry that my supervisor had no idea what to do and didn’t even attempt to

help this lady. I wondered how she could be the person in charge. I wondered

what would have happened to this lady if I hadn’t at least tried the Heimlich

maneuver or if it hadn’t worked. The truth is, I was not sure I could do anything

to help. I was in shock and petrified that I was going to see someone die

right in front of my eyes. This was a lot more than I had bargained for when

I asked Mrs. Berry to give me a chance. After the adrenalin dissipated, I felt

very proud for having saved the resident’s life and that I had lost the intimidation

I felt just minutes earlier. I also lost respect for a supervisor I barely

knew. This was my initiation into senior care and advocacy.

The facility was supposed to support independent to semi-independent

living, which today we refer to as assisted living. There were three floors:

the first floor residents were independent; the second floor residents were

mostly semi-independent with a few dependent residents; and the third

floor housed all the residents who shouldn’t have been living there. I believe

it was set up that way so when visitors or potential new residents’

families came, they would see the very best in independent living. There

were no tours beyond the first floor to my recollection. I continued working

as a nurse’s aide on the afternoon shift. I was responsible for all of the

residents on the third floor.

My residents were either totally physically dependent, or had Alzheimer’s

or some other form of dementia. Back then we described a person with

dementia as being senile. My responsibilities were to keep my incontinent

residents clean, to get everyone to the dining room for their dinner

and medications, to pass dinner trays, and to feed those who could not

feed themselves. I was also responsible for entertaining the residents after

dinner, which meant sitting them in the day room to watch TV while

I cleaned up dinner trays and tables, changed residents, gave baths, and

started getting residents ready for bed.

The day shift was responsible for half of the residents’ baths and grooming

each week, and I was responsible for the other half. I was the only aide on

the third floor afternoon shift. I don’t recall how many residents I had to

care for; I just remember it was a lot of work. I had responsibilities and experiences

on this job I never would have imagined: shaving a man with a nonelectric

razor; being with a person with dementia; cleaning an incontinent

person; tying people to their beds to keep them safe from falling; feeding an

adult; and, convincing someone to take a bath when they refused.

There was no training to teach me how to do these tasks or to deal with

dementia patients. Nurse’s aides were just hired and put to work, until

1987 when Congress passed the Omnibus Reconciliation Act, commonly

referred to as OBRA. Safety concerns and the lack of quality care

in our nation’s nursing homes inspired OBRA, which required training

nursing home staff. Talk about old school; I was doing this work for ten

years before the U.S. required training.

One night, a few months into my job, I started my shift looking through

the bath book to see who was scheduled for a bath. I also looked through

the documentation from the day shift. There were residents on the dayshift

schedule who hadn’t had a bath in a month or more. I was outraged

and saddened. I gave thirty-two baths in one night. I worked a couple of

hours of overtime to get it all done, but all the residents on the third floor

were now clean and cared for. Was this the first night of a lifetime of senior

advocacy? Looking back over thirty years, I think it was. I couldn’t understand

how anyone could let this happen. The residents were people, and

they needed help. What if these lazy nurse’s aides were deprived a bath for

a month? What would they want?

I had no idea at the time how significant the bath night and another experience

I had would become in how I have spent my life caring and advocating

for seniors. The experiences clearly had their own purposes. One

began my life as a senior advocate; the other was the major contributing

factor to the empathetic care I have provided all of my life. Thirty years

later, there are many patients I still remember, think about, and hold dear

to my heart. I remember a retired teacher who had dementia and filed

things in her bra. She said they were her files, as if she were still teaching.

I remember a couple who walked the halls holding hands; the husband

wore the layers of men’s and women’s clothing his wife dressed him in. I

remember a tall thin lady with dementia, who was either glowingly joyful

while singing in her high-pitched, out-of-tune voice or so angry she hit

and scratched anyone who came near her. I can still picture these residents

clearly, and I hold fond memories of them in my heart.

One evening, our assignment was to clean our residents’ closets and

drawers. One of my residents was a lady named Ann, who couldn’t

speak or do anything for herself. She quietly lay in bed day after day.

Ann never had a visitor, so I knew nothing about her. While I was working

in Ann’s room, I found a box in her closet. In it were no less than

thirty letters and cards. I sat on the floor and started to read them, one

after another, as tears fell from my eyes. They were love letters from

a husband to his wife. Never had I known, or even heard about, such

profound and amazing love. This woman, lying there alone seemingly

unloved, had actually shared a fairy-tale love, rare and amazing, with

an adoring spouse. I can still vividly recall sitting on the floor with her

box in my lap, tears dripping from my face, reading the letters while frequently

pausing to look at Ann lying in that bed, almost lifeless, wishing

I had known her sooner.

I wished I knew about her life when I started caring for her. For many

months, I had looked at her as just some old woman lying in the bed who

needed help. Truthfully, until that day I didn’t give her much thought other

than the duties of keeping her clean, dry, and physically comfortable. Not

that I didn’t occasionally think how sad it was she never had a visitor or

any indication that someone cared about her, but that was the extent of

my thoughts and involvement with her. Before I left my shift that night, I

acknowledged Ann. She was no longer just some old woman. I went to her,

and while gently stroking her cheek and forehead I said, “Your husband

sure did love you.” I said goodnight and went home. That was all I could

say, given the emotional state I was in after reading all those letters. I’m

not sure if I was more sad about Ann’s loss and being alone in that nursing

home or guilty for not seeing her as a real person with a real life.

It was through her letters that I got to know Ann, who couldn’t tell me anything

about herself. As far as I knew, her deceased husband was all she had,

and now I felt more responsibility to take care of her for him. That was when

the meaning of care changed for me. Previous to this night, I felt that I provided

pretty good care given the number of residents I had and the duties

that needed to be done. I kept Ann clean and dry, but I didn’t know how to

communicate with someone who couldn’t acknowledge me or speak back.

Although I gave good physical care, there was no emotion involved, no human

connection; I was very quiet when I provided care for Ann.

I now had something to talk to Ann about. Caring for Ann changed into

something much more meaningful. I felt a special bond with her. Those

love letters gave me much deeper empathy for my residents. I started looking

at all of the residents, wondering what lives they previously had before

they ended up in that nursing home. That revelation inspired me to find

out as much as I could about them. I read their charts, asked questions,

listened to their conversations more intently, and observed their actions.

From time to time, I would read Ann’s husband’s letters to her. I don’t know

whether Ann could understand or even hear anything I said, but I felt that

her spirit heard and understood. I also felt as if her husband was looking

down from heaven, grateful for someone who was telling Ann about his

love in a comforting and caring way and taking care of her physically.

Ann’s inability to speak was due to aphasia, a speech and language disorder

that impairs a person’s ability to communicate It is most commonly the result

of a stroke but can occur from any severe head injury and affects over

one million people in the U.S. Aphasia can be expressive, meaning the person

can fully comprehend language but cannot verbally express thoughts,

feelings, or preferences. Aphasia can also be receptive, meaning patients

can’t understand verbal or written language. People often assume that a person

with expressive aphasia cannot understand or comprehend, but that is

far from the truth. Not knowing whether Ann had receptive aphasia, I truly

don’t know if she understood me when I talked to her and read her love

letters to her. But, I think there is something in our souls that allows us to

connect even when the typical means of communication are not possible.

My three-decade passion has been based on empathy. Can you imagine

being in Ann’s shoes? Can you understand what it must be like to have

lived a fairy-tale life with a best friend, experience a love like no other,

only to lose that person and decline to the point where you are alone and

unable to care for yourself? I don’t know if it was true or not, but I heard

Ann’s decline was a result of losing her husband. We often hear about

couples who have been married for many years dying close in time, so her

decline following the loss of her husband wouldn’t surprise me.

Ann’s is just one story in a countless numbers of stories. There are thousands

of elders living in nursing homes, alone and unable to care for

themselves. What kind of care do they get when their healthcare workers

know nothing about them and don’t even think about what their lives

were like before they ended up helpless and in a nursing home? Just like I

did. I’ve worked in long-term care for decades and never saw any training

programs that focused on communicating with persons with aphasia, or

even explained what it is. I also have never seen any training programs

that elicited empathy—other than The Virtual Dementia Tour®, which

provides a great learning experience. I know from my own experience that

patients like Ann are not spoken to or treated with the compassion that is

essential to providing good care. Instead, they’re regarded as work to be

done rather than a person to whom care is given. It is up to us as a society

to understand that there is a person and a life Behind the Old Face.

In over three decades of spending time caring and advocating for seniors,

many experiences brought me to write this book, but a single experience

at a funeral home inspired the idea and title; I share that experience with

you later in this chapter. Throughout this book, I will share my experiences

and the stories of a few of the seniors I have spent time with, but

my experiences and their stories provide only a small glimpse of what is

Behind the Old Face. This book is intended to tug at your heart strings, to

make anyone interacting with or caring for an elderly person think differently,

and to subsequently improve the way we treat seniors and the care

we provide. Care should never be just a physical-care task. Anyone can

provide physical care, but great care providers offer an emotional component

to their care that makes it great. There are unpaid caregivers, such as

family, friends, and volunteers, as well as a wide range of paid caregivers,

including nurse’s aides, therapists, nurses, social workers, and physicians.

No paid care giving job is more important than another. No care recipient

is more important than another. Whatever your care giving role, you need

to provide care with respect, compassion, empathy, and kindness. All care

recipients should always—without exception—be treated with dignity,

respect, and from an empathetic point of view.

Every single one of us has heard, “Treat people as you want to be treated,”

but how many of us really do? How many nurse’s aides, nurses, physicians,

and family caregivers provide the treatment they would want to receive?

Do you treat every single person you come in contact with, have a

relationship with, work with, or care for as you would want to be treated?

As you read this book and the stories of the people in it, you will and

should experience a myriad of emotions. I will tell you some of the most

amazing stories I have ever heard, from the lives of seniors I have been

privileged to know and spend time with. These aren’t famous people with

amazing newsworthy stories; these are everyday stories. These are the life

stories of your parents, grandparents, neighbors, aunts and uncles, the old

man driving too slow, the grey-haired old woman that you have to wait

on in the store, the patient you have to feed or change, the Alzheimer’s

patient who is difficult, and the dementia patient who asks the same questions

over and over. These people are us. They are us, with many more

years of life behind them. You will hear about their challenges, their

dreams achieved or not achieved, their contributions and accomplishments,

their service to our country or to a cause, their devastations and

joys, their thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and their points of view about

what it’s like to be a senior today.

Even after my decades of spending time with seniors, I still hear things

that are surprising to me, and things I have never thought of. While interviewing

one lady for the book, she told me a secret. At her request, I

will not use her name or feature her story in the book, but she told me

something that gave me another perspective into things that seniors think

about. She was a lovely ninety-one-year old woman I’ll call Susan. Susan

grew up in England, and even years after being in America, she still

had a lovely English accent. I cared for her while her husband was in the

hospital. She was happily married for over seventy years, and she adored

her husband. During interviews, I ask specific questions to initiate further

conversation and to better understand what it’s like to be old. One question

I ask is, “Who is your hero?” When I asked Susan this question, she

said it was her husband, but as we continued to talk about her life from

childhood on, she asked, “Can I tell you a secret?”

Susan started talking about her first love when she was nineteen. Her blue

eyes sparkled as she told me about their weekends spent dancing at a local

hangout. He was a
very handsome man, a man of honor and values, who

could dance “as gracefully as Fred Astaire,” she said in a giddy, schoolgirl-

crush way. They were together a few months when he went into the

military. While he was away, she met her husband. You may think the rest

is history, but it wasn’t. Her entire life, she had thought about her first

love and how things may have been different if she had waited for him.

Imagine spending seventy-two years thinking about a lost love and the

what-if ’s.

Susan described times they would run into each other after he returned

from the military and she was already another man’s wife. They had an unspoken

bond they both recognized and possibly even longed for. She described

the small bits of conversation they had and said he would always

ask, “Are you okay, Susan? Really? He never married, and Susan wondered

if it was because he wanted to marry her. She thought his “Really?”

carried an undertone of a deeper question. Susan thought he wanted to

know if she was truly happy with another man as her husband. He was

too much of a gentleman to get between Susan and her husband, so she

felt there were words that were never spoken. They eventually lost track of

each other because of her move to the U.S.

Her secret revealed that she never let the memories or the what-if ’s go.

She kept them quietly stored away in her heart for over seventy years. It

was a heartwarming story. I felt a bit sad hearing it. I was sitting with a

wonderful woman of ninety-one who had never gotten over her first love.

I was honored that I was the first one she had ever told this to. I was also

surprised by what I had been told. Susan went on to tell me how wonderful

her husband had always been to her and how she never regretted marrying

him. She kept her thoughts secret her whole life so as not to hurt her

husband, who was her hero.

We talked about her life over the course of a couple days. She shared her

experiences as an elderly woman in the hospital. Susan described an experience

during one of her hospital admissions. A couple of nurses mimicked

her accent. This had happened years before we met, yet had stayed

in her thoughts and feelings. Susan described feeling disrespected, belittled, and treated as if she had no feelings. The mimicking nurses made her

feel like they thought she was stupid because she had an accent. I would

guess there was no mal intent on the part of the nurses, but they didn’t

think about Susan’s dignity or feelings either.

As you progress through this book and read about the lives of the people

described in it, you will read about situations that will warm your heart

and others that are disturbing. Both are intended to cause you to think,

put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and move you to a more compassionate

perspective when it comes to our elders. It is my hope that the

stories will be heartwarming enough to cause you to be kinder and more

thoughtful, and disturbing enough to inspire you to become an advocate

for better treatment of one of our most vulnerable populations.

Funerals reveal who we have been

In my work and life, I have been to countless funerals, home viewings, and

memorial ceremonies. Funerals can be as unique as the individual who

died, but in the last ten to fifteen years, I have noticed increasing numbers

of…..

This Week’s Michigan Literary Network Blogtalk Radio Guests

Listen in today, January 9th on the Michigan Literary Network Blogtalk radio show at 5:30pm as Sylvia Hubbard talks with Mary Hall-Rayford about her book “If Parents Cared Enough,” and Randy D. Wright  as he gives tips from his book “25 Ways to Release the Greatness in You.” Tune in bitly.com/Nh9eQg. We’ve got knowledge for you.

This week’s MWN Author Feature~JReal

This week the Motown Writers Networks features the author of the Draw series, JReal. Read below to find out about JReal and the Draw series.

Where are you from?

I’m originally from New York but I been in Detroit for 6 years now.

Tell us your latest news?

Well the latest and greatest news about J-REAL is I’m back on the scene with my newest release DRAW Part 3 and I have a new motivated energy to take my writing to the next level  with a great line up of projects and more on the road book signings in different states.

When and why did you begin writing?

My journey as a writer began through reading I’ve read hundreds of different books, pamphlets, newspapers and magazines. I love the way words have that unique power to tap into the human mind. That’s what made me want to write and use my imagination to tell story’s.

 What inspired you to write your first book?

Most of my inspiration for writing comes from just everyday life what people do and what they go through and how they overcome the many adversities that face all walks of life.

How did you come up with the title?

When I think of a title for a project I try to come up with the catchiest metaphors that tie in with the characters and story line. Something that can catch a reader’s attention

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

Always I try to put a little nugget of information in every novel dealing with the story and what genre I’m writing from if its Street lit I try to show the consequences of living the fast life and not just the glorification aspect. Real life stuff I always try to use current events

What book are you reading now?

Write now I’m reading a book called TROUBLE, by Ju-Ju Bishop.

What are your current projects?

My next Project that I will be releasing is Bred From Treason and a Hard Price To Pay

Name one entity that you feel supported you outside of family members.

I would have to say I get a lot of support from my Facebook community in fact a lot of my eBooks sales derive from social media

 If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?

I wouldn’t change anything about the way things are going in my writing career I do wish that in the beginning I got out to more events.

 Can you share a little of your current work with us?

Yes here is an excerpt from A Hard Price To Pay

.    The property was flooded with police and ambulances.  The mini mansion was belted in police tape and there was all movement throughout and around Cedric’s home.  Ced turned the Montero onto his lawn and slid to a stop while simultaneously jumping from the driver’s side and racing towards the front door.  After a few steps he was subdued by a couple of uniformed cops followed by a blank face detective.  “Are you Cedric Carter?  Are you the boy’s father?  We got that name from the boy.”

“Where is he, where is my son?” Hearing about Bugga made Ced start to struggle.  “Now hold on one minute, you still have not confirmed who you are,” The detectives face remained expressionless.  “What mother fucker, where is my kid?”  The Officer wrestled Ced to the ground after almost losing control of him.  Then with the order given from the detective one of the officers dug in Ced’s back pocket, retrieving his wallet and tossing it to the detective.  Ced kept struggling and cursed, “Man what the fuck is wrong with you pigs?”

Once the detective confirmed Ced’s identity he motioned for the officer to let him up, “Okay, now that we know who you are we can start asking you some questions.

Ced looked at the detective, he was tall, overweight, balding white man who towered over him.  Disapproval dripped from the detectives glare.  Ced snatched from the officers grip and turned his head towards his porch where he saw his son sitting and being comforted by a strange woman and questioned by who Ced figured to be the detectives partner.  Ced began in that direction but again was stopped, this time by the detective himself.  He tried to snatch away but the detective’s grip held firm.  Ced turned, “Get the fuck off me,  I want to get my boy!”

“Your boy is being questioned and with you with him that will only confuse things.”

“What are you questioning him for, where is Grace?”

“You mean the mother?”  The detective face softened a touch, “She was in your son’s arms, Mr. Carter, when she died.”  She was naked with multiple stab wounds and two gunshot wounds in her lower torso.  She also had a gun in her hand, the one we believe killed those two thugs in there.  Now the women’s in a bag and the only we can find out anything is from the kid. So until were done with him you are going to stand right here where I can see you.  Are you clear?”

Ced tore up his face at the gesture of Grace being in a bag.  Who the fuck was this pig to be talking like that about Grace?”  “You talking about my wife! What’s your name mother fucker!“ “Don’t you mean your baby mama? And its detective Milhourn,” Milhourn narrowed his eyes, “A better question was why were these thugs looking for you?”   Milhourn pauses a second to let the question sink in before he waved it off seeing how calm the man became all of a sudden, how all the tension seemed to relax in his face.    The detective hardened, he decided to cut the bullshit.  “You fucking drug running scumbags are all the same.”

“Now hold on,” Ced interrupted but felt silent when the detectives finger shot out to within an inch of his face.

“Shut the hell up!”  Do you see this neighborhood?  How many fucking blacks live on this side?”  After a pause you don’t even know….ok the rest you’ll have to but the book

Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?

Yes mostly when I get a case of writers block that makes everything so difficult because I can’t get any projects that I already started finished.

Do you have to travel much concerning your book(s)?

Yes part of being a successful author is getting on the road and traveling to do book signings or just attend events to promote your work.

Who designed the covers?

I come up with the concept for the books and I work with Oddball designs to create the cover. And I also work with Brand Concepts Southeast

What was the hardest part of writing your book?

The hardest part of writing any of the novels I got is creating the character development and what each character role will be in the book.

Do you have any advice for other writers?

The best advice I can give to writers new and old is to study your craft because the book industry evolves constantly with the new technology that’s out. Be professional about your business and stay true to who you are as an individual.

Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

I just want thank all the readers for their support in my work and welcome and thank all the new readers that take the time to read my books and interviews